Coming soon to a church near you: Jesus’ dead body, naked and circumcised

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EXTRAPOLATED from the Shroud of Turin by a group of Spanish artists, a recreation of the Jesuscorpse, wounds and all, was unveiled in time for Easter in Gaudix Cathedral in Granada, Spain.

The world’s first “hyper-realistic” recreation of “The Mystery Man” will remain in Spain until June 30, and will then be exhibited at various churches throughout Europe … and possibly the United States.

The curator of the exhibition, Álvaro Blanco, said at the unveiling of the thing that, on seeing the completed recreation he was convinced that:

He was before Jesus, he was before the image of the body of Jesus of Nazareth.

All I can see is the body of a hairy geezer who may have ridden his Harley over a cliff.

The sculpture, made of latex and silicone, weighs about 165 pounds.

Authors of the Catholic News Agency report wrote:

The legs are somewhat bent, hands crossed at the level of the pubis. There is no false modesty in the figure. The entire body of the man on the Shroud is visible, nothing omitted, including circumcision.

Image via Twitter

The hair used for dead Jesus is human and can be seen all over the body, from the feet to the head.

In addition to the crucified Christ, there is a preliminary exhibit that puts the viewer:

In context about the reality of the scourging and crucifixion and the research into the Holy Shroud.

ArtiSplendore, a company specializing in cultural and artistic patrimony exhibitions and tourism, said:

In the next 20 years we want to go to churches around the world.

A spokesperson for the exhibit told CNA that “Italy will be our next location after Guadix,” adding that though there are no current plans to do so, they “would love to go to the States.” 

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If you spot any typos in this report, please alert me via email: freethinkered@aol.com

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2 responses to “Coming soon to a church near you: Jesus’ dead body, naked and circumcised”

  1. The Mexican was nailed to a stick about 700 years ago according to the age of the Turin shroud, blows the bible story sky high!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Makes a change from the traditional man on a stick.

    Liked by 1 person

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